Shattered To Sovereign

WSC Intro/Outro: This is when Spirit calls and you on your journey, are in the right place. This show is about magic, miracles and meaning shared through stories, interviews and channeled messages. We have so much to share about who you are and your divine mission here on the earth, let's get to it when Spirit calls is right now.

Rev. Rose Hope: Our podcast guest today is the amazing Brooke Kekos. Brooke is a trauma recovery coach, rapid transformational therapist and NLP practitioner, Brooke specializes in empowering survivors to rewrite their stories. Her own personal path, a testament to overcoming indoctrination, abuse and toxic bonds, ignites her profound insight and unshakable dedication. She's a sought after speaker, an author and a fervent advocate against religious abuse and domestic violence. Her voice resonates far beyond the confines of her coaching practice and extends into the communities and the world as we know it. Brooke is an ally for her clients, embracing a voyage of transformational healing armed with potent tools, nurturing guidance and profound revelations, she invites people to step into an existence where authenticity thrives and where they can align their souls to foster their truest self. Please help me to welcome our incredible guest today, Brooke Kekos.

Well, Hello, folks. I know you've learned a little bit about Brooke already, but again, I am so excited to have her here with us. Hi, Brooke.

Hello. I'm excited to be here too. Obviously, we've known each other for such a long time, and I can't believe I haven't been on this podcast already, but it was like, I think it was perfect timing now.

Rev. Rose Hope: So I'm just, I'm so excited, you know, you and I, like you said, have been, you know, walking companions, if you will, through this, this wild world, for several years now, and I have just fallen so deeply in love with your spirit and how you show up in the world. So I'm so grateful that you're here. And most of our audience, if they've been listening for a while, they know that I love to start things off with you, giving us the foundation of your story and how spirit has called you in. So I'm just going to let you take it away from here and let us revel in your storytelling.

Alright, thank you. You know, it really began from when I was a child. You know, I was raised in a cult, if anybody knows Jehovah's Witnesses, I was raised in this religion that kept me very suppressed. You know, it suppressed my gifts as well, that I didn't even know that I really had, I had these, these knowings, or these intuitive nudges, but I really wasn't allowed to explore them. I was actually taught that they were evil, that they were a satanic so I grew up in this religion being told what to do, how to act, how to be, what I had to wear, who I could hang out with, like I was only allowed to hang out with people in this society and not outside. So we were told from a very young age, everybody on the outside was evil, everybody on the outside was not safe. And so I grew up as this little girl, like just thinking that if I had interaction with people at school or people that were not in my, you know, realm of my society, that I was being taught that were safe, were not okay to be around. And so I just felt so different, so weird, so oddball, you know, I just didn't know where I kind of fit in, because I also didn't feel like something inside of me, like just didn't resonate, also with this religion, and not with being having to be different, because I grew up as this little girl that couldn't celebrate holidays, couldn't celebrate birthdays, so I had To be the kid that left the classroom head down, kind of feeling like, oh gosh, I'm very embarrassed. I'm very ashamed that I have to be different and not participate in these things. And it just made me feel like I didn't know my place in the world. Yeah, wow. Just constantly fighting for that

Rev. Rose Hope: so you couldn't even like if someone, if your classmates were singing Happy Birthday to another classmate, you had to leave the room.

Yes, yeah. So the religion really teaches parents to teach the children, not only that, they can't participate, you know, you can't salute the fly, and you can't do any of these other things, because you're supposed to be separate from politics. And then you tell the teachers, you know, my child's a Jehovah's Witness, and she can't participate in these things. And so they asked the teachers to remove your child from the actual room. And so kids were always looking at me like, where are you going? Why are you leaving right now? And I would always kind of be like, I just, I can't. Like, I would hate, literally. Is saying the words of why? Because for me, it didn't make sense. Even though they were teaching me a doctrine that said it was pagan. And, you know, all of these things are reasons why I couldn't do it. There was a part of me that said, Well, I want to do this. I want to be a part of this. Like, this looks fun. You know, I was a kid I wanted to do the craft or eat the cupcake, and that was just not something that I could participate in.

Rev. Rose Hope: Wow. So how did that then impact? You know, that was your childhood. Now you're moving into, you know, your teen years. Tell us about that?

Well, I was raised by a father that was very controlling, you know, and if he didn't have control, it really showed his fear and his anger would rise to the surface. And so as I became a teenager, of course, as any natural teenager will, they will test boundaries, and they will become rebellious. And the more you try to suffocate a teenager, right, the more they want to break free. It is just it's logic, it's human nature, right? Like, if we're like, suffocated, or we're put in a box, like, we want to, like, test the boundaries and really find a way where we can just be ourselves. And that was who I was trying to be. I was just trying to be myself, and I wasn't allowed to be myself. And so I learned very quickly that I needed to hold my place. I needed to be who I was supposed to be, and what my father wanted was a perfect example of a spiritual girl in this religion, the perfect example doing as she was told, abiding by the laws and the principles of the religion. And the minute that I began to question those things and kind of like try to find my freedom. That's when I really met my father's anger even more and how he could be abusive and controlling. And that just really started to kind of break me down. And it started to just kind of quiet, that little voice inside that said, you can be your own person.

Rev. Rose Hope: So essentially, you know, I would imagine that there was a great deal of shame that your father placed on you because you weren't being that good little obedient girl, and so it caused you to really shrink up and say, It's not safe for me to be me completely.

And I think that belief even validated itself when I went outside of the rules of the religion and I had sex before marriage, and because I wanted to be that girl that, you know, I wanted the I wanted the attention, and I was craving this normal teenager affair, I guess I should say. And that's when I got disfellowshipped in the religion, and which means you're shunned, basically, no one can talk to you, no one can look at you, and your friendships in the actual society are closed off.

Rev. Rose Hope: Wow. Okay, so what you're telling me is that you went and participated in sex before marriage. How old were you about? Like in your teens, they're 16. Yeah, you were 16, right? So not too, too young. And so then you're still living at home, but now nobody can talk to you. Look at you. Your friends aren't allowed to be friends with you anymore. And so now you're in the I'll call it a community, but you're actually being completely rejected within the community, yes, yeah,

and I survived that for about a year. So they really make you pay your consequence, right? You have to pay what you did. And they basically say that, you know, God is punishing you. This is discipline from God, and you are not repentful, and you're not going to be forgiven right now, and so you're going to have to do this time, if you will. And so I was about a year, and that meant just going to school, keeping my head down. I couldn't be friends with people at school, and I couldn't have my friends inside of the society. So it was very lonely. It was very there's a lot of shame, and that was my dad, really made me feel shame, like I shamed the whole family. I shamed the family name I will never be able to get married, because no man's gonna want me because now I'm not a virgin anymore. So all of this, like was just weighing really heavy on me.

Rev. Rose Hope: Wow, I just My heart is breaking actually hearing the story, because I think about how fragile I was as a teen and how that would have impacted me as a teen. I don't know if I could have survived it, you know, I don't know that I could have had the strength to be rejected in my face and rejected by my family and shamed by my family, and still continue forward. So I gotta say, I just applaud you and moved by your courage to keep moving through that. So you go through that experience, then what happens,

I finally get reinstated, is what they call it. So now I'm able to talk to everybody in a society again. I'm finally accepted again. And so that was ultimately. Me my goal, like I wanted to make my parents happy again, like they were so disappointed in me, right? Naturally, as a young girl, you want to make them happy again. And the boy that I did it with, I ended up just completely, you know, in honor of my parents, like just discarding him completely, and after being reinstated, I shortly was, like, very quickly connected, reconnected with him, because I still felt this desire to be a part of his life, and that really ignited my path, because that path led me to marry young, elope without my parents consent, without the fact that they wanted me. They did not want me to marry this boy. It was typical Romeo and Juliet scenario, where they hated it. Wanted to keep me away. That did everything, even legally, to try to how order the whole entire thing, to keep me away from this boy. And of course, that made me want this boy even more. So I went after that, and I eloped and I married him, but I quickly realized that he was a carbon copy of my father. It was the anger, the control, the manipulation, the abuse, and I didn't know anything different. So I stayed in that relationship for 17 years, unbeknownst to me, not realizing that I had a different option, because I was taught to be submissive. I was taught that the husband is in control, and I'm supposed to do as he says. That's really grilled in the religion and our in our minds, we're talking and I didn't question it.

Rev. Rose Hope: Wow. And so was he out of the religion, or was he still in the religion as well? You're Yeah, he was, he was in it as well. Okay? But they still didn't. They still weren't happy that you were going to marry this person? No, not at all. Okay, so I think we're all probably sitting here being like, Okay, well, how did you break out? How did you get how did you get set free? So tell us.

So it was actually my then husband, who is the one that discovered that everything was a lie that everything was had on truths in it, and there was holes in the doctrine, and there was something really wrong energetically, to be honest, a lot of evil stuff being kind of hidden. Child sex abuse cases being hidden, you know, just some very, very disturbing things that he discovered and showed me, and it made me have to question it. Even though at first I stood up for my faith, I was like, something's not right here. I've got to look deeper. And that made me just realize, intuitively, I said, I can't fake this, even for my family, even for this community, even for all the friendships that I have built up over the past 36 years, I had to say, I have to walk away from this, because I can't go to this, because it's not in my heart anymore. I don't it was gone. It was like it just instantly left, and it was, it was something I couldn't continue with.

Rev. Rose Hope: So you really just felt like, this does not resonate. This is not my truth. And so you walked from your family, your all, your friends, your whole everything that you knew,

yes,

Rev. Rose Hope: yeah, did your husband at that time also come with you as well. So both of you left the religion?

We did, but we divorced at the same time, so we ended up parting ways and going our own, separate paths, and that was difficult, honestly, on us both, because we had been so co dependently and meshed in each other, like from, I mean, since we were 16 years old, right? Yeah, we didn't know anything different. And then here we were just like, thrown into the, I guess, the world, as we would call it like, and having no idea other than the fact that we were raised in a society, we didn't even know how to really even connect people, because we just used to connect over the fact that we believed the same belief, right? We were having to, like, relearn everything.

Rev. Rose Hope: Wow. So would you say that that ex husband of yours was a bit of a, you know, a guiding light for you, a teacher for you, of being able to say, hey, something's not right here.

So my oldest is, he's still navigating through things, you know, there's he still is struggling with what to believe, what not to believe. You know, I've talked a lot about, like, having a connection with his dad on the other side, and being able to hear messages from him, and he doesn't really know. He doesn't really believe it. He doesn't buy into it yet. Yeah, okay, but he also was really indoctrinated in the religion we didn't. He left when we were when he was 12. So he's still, you know, even though we've kind of tried to, like, unravel all of that, there's also still some of that, still lingering around. So he's still just got in the discovery process. My youngest, very much, is very intuitive. He understands things that, you know, most children at his age wouldn't understand, and he really trusts and believe in believes in that. And so he always like, yeah, Dad's showing me signs all the time. Or he come, you know, he Oh my gosh, there was a turtle today. And he's like, I know it was dad saying hi, like, I mean, he believes in the magic of the universe, if you will, this other deeper connection. So he is very open to it, but he was young when we left, so he wasn't as indoctrinated. So he was able to kind of create his own belief system. And then, when his dad passed, learn from that experience too.

Rev. Rose Hope: beautiful. Yeah, I'm curious to know, because there might even be some people who are still in the Jehovah's Witness world out there that are like, Why are you condemning this, this beautiful religion? And I remember we used to have this lovely lady named Gail, and she was Jehovah's Witness, and she'd come, you know, maybe weekly, bi weekly, a couple times a month, I can't quite remember, but she was such a joy. And my mom would bring her in and let her have coffee with us, or whatever, tea and, you know, and she was just such a light. And so she stayed in our lives for over a decade. And so she would come for those visits, and she brought joy with her. I'm curious to know there's gotta be some good still in what you learned. Like we're not saying it's all bad necessarily, or are we curious to know?

Yeah, I so. I don't really necessarily believe in good or bad. I believe in what is truth? What is what feels like truth to me, and what is truth to someone else is also their truth, and that's okay. So I think I've learned a lot on this spiritual lesson of letting go of a belief system, but also recognizing I can't judge another's belief system while I still need to stand on my own truth, right? What is, you know, so someone is looking, or someone is searching because something doesn't resonate with them, maybe they have outgrown that belief system, right? Maybe it's time to let that go, because they don't believe in it anymore, because they're searching for something else, something different. So I wholeheartedly believe, you know, as a Jehovah's Witness, you know, we learned moral but teachings like, I mean, if everybody knows about a job as witness, like, we're like, the most honest people usually, like people even say that witness, that works for me, and I love it, because they're they show up.

Rev. Rose Hope: They are the best work good work ethic. Yes, they've got integrity,

yeah, yes. So we're taught that from a very young age, you know, kind of Bible principles. And those are Bible principles, right? But at the same time, it's interesting, because you can flip it on its side, and you can see how there is this manipulation and this distortion and in control that is there as well. So I find it's a reflection much of the light and dark that we have all within us, right, the shadow aspects of our psyche. Yes, right? We can have good, but we also have dark, and we also have these parts of us that will manipulate or do things to get our way right? That emotional manipulation and stuff and so yes, there is darkness for this in it is hurting people, and I think that's kind of how I look at things. If you are hurting another human being, and another human being is suffering and they're feeling alone because they've been outcasts from a community. That's not love. That's not, I don't believe that universe or God or source wants for people, right? I think that's just being able to kind of use your ability to discern and to use logic, and, you know, be able to make your own informed decision about what is feels good to you. Yes,

Rev. Rose Hope: I love that. Thank you for that perspective. You know, I think, you know, there's a lot of people who are in different religious organizations, and I've had clients that also came from I think it was, is it Jesus Christ of Latter Day, saints and so also very similar, very you know, you get punished. If you go astray, you will be punished for that. And I've really come being raised Catholic. I've really come to the understanding that my God's not a punishing God. And when I was a kid, it was a punishing God, like God was going to condemn me, and if I did anything wrong, like even if I said the wrong thing, I remember just sitting in guilt and shame, because that was the only way that I could receive forgiveness, was to be in guilt and shame. And if there's one thing I've come to understand is that guilt and shame will not elicit positive change that I cannot evolve to my highest heights when I'm constantly pushing myself down with this guilt and with the shame. So you went through this pretty intense experience, having to experience abuse within this Jehovah's Witness, you know group. You also experience a loss of you know your children's dad and somebody whom you loved. What have you learned? What is it that you want to share with the rest of us that will change us?

Yes, I believe that you know if you're feeling like you've been abandoned by a god or a universe or whatever you believe in, that it's not true. I thought that I was betrayed, that I had been duped, if you will, that I had been abandoned by a god, and thought in in the fear that came up in my body. I had to have that really huge spiritual awakening after my ex husband died. With that grief, it just ignited this understanding that we are not alone. No matter how alone you feel, you're not you're always being guided. And I just experienced that on so many profound levels of synchronicities, with asking the universe to give me something that I deeply needed, because I was feeling lost and afraid and alone, and then receiving that exact message that I needed, or that exact person that would come in and say something, or the teacher like you when you showed up in my life, right? I needed a teacher to teach me, to help me understand my own spiritual awakening, because I was afraid, and so it was like I was always given the gift. I was always given the thing that needed to help me, kind of nudge me along, and sometimes we just don't pay attention. So I just want people to know that you're not alone. I definitely have learned that, and to trust that you're always being guided and surrender. I think surrendering has been something I've had to learn over and over and over and over again, because each time I am resisting the surrendering, and it's about being able to just allow yourself to stop trying to control. I learned for a lot of trauma survivors, if you're listening into this like you have learned to control because you thought control kept you safe. Yeah, and control never has ultimately kept us safe. It's an illusion. It's a thing that you created to believe that you have control over your environment, and some level, yes, we do have control over certain things, but the only thing we ultimately control in this world is ourselves. That's it. Everything else is not controllable. And when you can surrender to that belief and that belief alone is going to liberate you to help you stop trying to micromanage life, because you're just trying to swim upstream, instead of just letting it flow and letting you be a part of this flow of consciousness that really helps you access your next step. No, just don't fight life.

Rev. Rose Hope: Yeah, right. Aren't we so good? Like, why do we battle so much? Like, there's so much battling energy I've been finding going on, especially, I mean, in Canada here, we just had an election not far behind yours, in in the States, but, and I'm telling you, it's battle, battle, battle, battle. And so it's like people are feeding off. That almost not in a good way, right? And you know, I always ask myself, What am I feeding myself? And not just food. I'm not talking food. I'm talking energetically. Who are the people I'm with? What am I watching? What am I reading? What am I tuning myself into? And there's a surrender that comes with that as well, instead of getting lost in that, oh, I need to, I need to fight that, or I need to create some resistance to whatever it is that's happening outside of me that doesn't seem to be the way that I want it to be. We resist what is, and the resisting what is is so futile. It's like that's just how it happened. So we can either accept it or not, but resisting it is such a waste of our precious love and energy, so I think surrender is such a powerful one. So I want to recap that because you started by saying you're not alone and reminding people that they're not alone. And I want to speak to that because I don't even remember where what I was doing or where this came from, but the message was, God is seeking you. Always. God is always seeking you. So when you're feeling alone like nobody's here for me, the reminder that God is seeking me, Ah, me, Little old me, little, you know, unimportant me. God is seeking me. He's seeking each and every one of us, always. And that, to me, was so poignant, like, oh, it just felt so good to hear that. Like, no matter what I'm doing, no matter how much I fucked up, that God is still seeking me. God is not turning its back on me. And it reminds me of that palm footprints. Do you know that poem, footprints where Jesus and the man are walking in the sand, and all of a sudden, only one set of footprints, and the man says, Why have you left me alone? And Jesus said, Well, no, I've been carrying you. And I think that that's such a reminder when we're feeling alone, that we're being carried, even if we don't know it, even if forget, you know, be reminded for being carried.

Yeah, that's really beautiful. I actually brought tears up in my eyes. I feel it too. Yeah, I feel that, yeah, because it is so true, you know. And it's, I've seen it so much in my own journey. And, you know, I thought that I had been abandoned, you know. And it's just, I just I never was. And I think that's what people need to hear more of we want to go through really difficult life things and yeah, life is tough, right? But it doesn't mean it's not for purpose, right? It meant there is some. It's there to it's something there to teach you, no matter. Yes, yeah, yes.

Rev. Rose Hope: Our invitation is that we pull from every experience, from every emotion, from every thing that we are going through in life, is to leverage it for its value. And yet so many of us you know, fall into the trap of like there's nothing in that for me, right? And you've done such a beautiful job of this. You've leveraged your whole life experience, in fact, so much so that you even wrote a book about it, which we're going to talk about in one second. But first, before we do that, I want to go back to your second point so you're not alone and to trust. How do we trust? How do we build our trust when we feel like we've been so betrayed. Was there anything in particular that you did that helped you to reestablish your trust in God or in your faith

totally I, you know, it's funny that you're bringing this up, because this is something I'm still learning. So no spirit is bringing it up for a reason. It is something that I am continually having to work on. Mm hmm, has the betrayal runs so deep down when I was a little girl, yeah, and that betrayal, just it has made me see and witness every man, someone that is not trustworthy. Ah, okay. And it's, it's a deep, deep trauma of mine that I've been I know it's a life lesson that I came here to it's a contract that I came here to conquer. I haven't conquered it yet, guys, so I am still learning trust, because even in God and source, I'm still having to learn that trust and realize that it's not not being punished, right? I'm not needing to feel shame about something that I did, that it's okay that I make mistakes, and there's not some angry god that's out to get, to get me. Yeah? So even trusting in that has been something I've had to work on, yeah, also learning how to trust the masculine. Yeah. Yes, yes. Continually have to let my guard down. This is about surrendering and say, witnessing when someone really is trustworthy, when they've showed me they are believing that and trusting that, instead of allowing my ego to get in the way and try to protect me.

Rev. Rose Hope: So it's interesting that the word surrender in your third, your third point of how, how we can, you know, help ourselves through this process. And what you've learned that surrender actually builds the trust muscle, because when we surrender and we let the control go, and we just let it be what it is going to be. We start to see the evidence that it's actually okay. And so this is one of my tips for people to build trust, is to seek evidence. And so if we go back, and I go back to my life, and I say, Okay, well this time, you know, I felt really unsafe, really vulnerable, but look how it turned out, right? I always like to say, well, look how it turned out. And to me, that's building that trust muscle. But I also feel compelled to say that our faith precedes evidence as well. So for the people that are like, Oh, I'll never accomplish my dreams, or I'll never be able to do this thing, we're squashing our dreams completely, rather than saying, You know what, I'm going to have faith that whatever needs to happen is going to happen, and then I'll watch for the evidence, but I'm going to believe in it, not to the point in which I expect it, but I'm going to have faith that whatever it is that needs to happen is going to happen, and then I know that evidence will follow suit as well. So it's both looking for evidence in the past, but then anchoring into your faith for future evidence to show up faith precedes evidence. Just wanted to add that in there with that. So okay, so I just love this conversation, and I hope that for those of you listening, if you're feeling alone right now, I hope this is just you know exactly what you needed to hear. In fact, I know it is, and we really want to extend that aspect of reaching out and welcoming you into the community. And so one of the things that Brooke has worked on for a number of years, was her book. Will you just tell us just a little bit about the book and how we can find the book?

Yes, of course. So it's shattered, broken and beautiful finding faith. So I find that perfect that you already were talking about faith. You know, sometimes it requires a different version of yourself to be able to really find who you were meant to be and authentically meant to show up in the world. And that is what my book is about, you know, breaking down conditioning and programming from the past that kept me small and kept me believing that I was not worthy of having a voice or not able to have, you know, be a powerful woman and be able to access my deeper knowing. And this is about shedding things that just no longer serve me in this lifetime. And that is my story. And I talk a lot about, you know, being able to heal from these wounds that were created when we were children. Yes, because it's important. It's important to live your most and best, joyful life. And I believe that what it is all about the journey is creating your own heaven here on earth. Do that by doing your healing work, by doing your inner work, you create your own beautiful inner world that is just beautiful and Paradise like and you it feels safer to be inside. Feels like home. And I that's where what we're really meant to do, and we're meant to choose ourselves and just embrace life in a more, I don't know, holistic way.

Rev. Rose Hope: Yeah, you know, I love that, and you're speaking my language, obviously, with creating inner heaven. Because I really do feel like everything outside of me is a reflection of what's going on inside of me. So if I can tune into that frequency inside of me, then all of a sudden I'm in heaven. So this has been heavenly, and I've loved this conversation. I feel like there's so much more, and we've just skimmed the service. But you now are, I mean, while you're in Akashic Record practitioner, you are a Hypnotherapist. How can we reach you? How can we find you? What's available to us as opportunities with you?

Yeah, my book is on Amazon, so if anybody's interested in that, you can go and check that out. My life, my website's lifecoachinggoddess.com, so you're able to get a hold of me there, book a chat, even if you feel called to ask questions or you're curious. More about the work that I do, and just want to understand it a little more deeply. I am open to having that conversation.

Rev. Rose Hope: Amazing. Thank you. We're going to put that information in the show notes as well for you listeners, so it will be just below this podcast as well. Brooke, I love you. Thank you so much for coming to spend time with me and share your story and the challenges that you went through. You know, it's it's so beautiful to witness you on the other side of this and living in your joy and living in your wholeness. So thank you for having such incredible courage, because this was a courageous story, and I so appreciate you sharing it with us and being vulnerable with us. So thank you.

Thank you so much for having me on here. I love you so much too. Thank you my journey and helping me find and access this part of me that I didn't even know existed. So I

Rev. Rose Hope: It's been such an honor for me. Thank you so much, and to all you listening, wrapping you in so much love as well until next time. Be well. Take care. Everyone. Bye for now.

WSC Intro/Outro: So happy you could join us today, and we hope that you found comfort and inspiration with wherever you are at right now. If you feel you received a gift in today's message, please pass that gift along to a loved one by sharing this episode with them. To continue this conversation, please join me @rosehope.ca and when you do, be sure to access your free gift by signing up for the when Spirit calls newsletter, I'm looking forward to connecting with you again soon you.