Running on Empty and Filling up by Finding Your Way to Spirit

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Lesley Evans is no stranger to feeling overwhelmed being a mother of three girls wife and primary support for her mother while working in the public health system. Lesley is an international best selling author, she worked as a traditional therapist before she sought training in alternative therapies and discovered she was highly intuitive. She's developed a perfect blend of modern and magical therapies to empower the overwhelmed by teaching them how to shed the guilt, find their passion and live an inspired life. Lesley has 30 years of experience as a registered psychiatric nurse therapist. She is a certified soul Care Coach and Reiki master, she brings new purpose and passion for raising awareness, gaining new perspectives and teaching others to shine their light. She believes like the Rising Phoenix that everyone can rise from the ashes of their old life and build themselves stronger to shine their light into the worlds.

Hello, everybody. And welcome back to When Spirit Calls. As you heard, we have a really special guest on the show today. And I'm so delighted to bring in lastly to talk a bit about her story and some of the things that she's learned in her life that will really help you in your life, too. So hi, Lesley, welcome. Hi,

it's so great to be here. Thank you for inviting me,

I am so happy to have you here. Lesley. We've known each other now for I guess over a year. And I have just watched you share stories which are so powerful, and really reminding people to come into a place of presence, and mindfulness. And so I know that's going to be a bit of what we talked about today. But I'd like to start off by letting the audience know a little bit of your backstory so that they can really understand some of the pains and that maybe struggles that you went through that got you where you are today. So why don't you start us off by giving us a little bit of the breakdown of the history of Lesley and the story behind you.

All right, absolutely. Well, you know, really my story starts with a checklist, a checklist of everything that I thought I wanted in my life, you know, I got I went to nursing school that my psychiatric nursing diploma, I married my college sweetheart, I, I got a job in public health as a nurse I got, you know, we bought a house and I had three beautiful girls. And so check, check, check, check.

I know that story, too. I also had a checklist.

Yes, you know, and I checked everything off. But you know, I checked everything off and I was taking care of all my checks. On my checklist, I really started to realize I was losing myself in this whole process that I was always juggling This or That was also primary support to my mom, through all those years. And you know, really, I didn't take a lot of time for myself, because when I did, I always felt so guilty or worried that something was going to go wrong, and I and I wasn't there to take care of it. And so even when I did take time, it really wasn't time for myself. It was time by myself, but not self care in that way where I let everything else go. And so um, you know, as I went through life, and you think this is my turning point, but it's it's a very important moment in my journey. When I was having a conversation with my then she was 16. So my eldest daughter, and we're having conversation about a boy what you do in those teenage years. Yeah. And, you know, she was giving up a lot of herself and what was important to herself to be available for this boy and to, you know, be the person that he wanted her to be and giving her the proper motherly advice. I said, No, we don't give up ourselves to make everybody else around us happy that our happiness is important and law as I hand out, I gave her that important advice. But honestly, a light bulb really went off for me in that moment, where I really thought oh my goodness, what? What am I doing? What am I teaching my girls? about the importance of self and the importance of self care, when all I'm doing is sacrificing all everything that I want, you know that I want my passions, everything for everyone around me. And I just thought I don't, that's not what I want for my girls. I don't want them to live a life of self sacrifice. And so he really had a good talk with myself. And, and really sat very quietly and listened. And the direction that I had was very clear. And that was, it was time to move on from where I was, and my husband of 21 years, and I decided to separate because what we were doing wasn't healthy for any of us. And so me life on my own, my girls came and my mom was living with us. So she came with us too. And you know, like any big change? Yes, it feels really good in the beginning. And it was a good choice and a good decision. And change is sometimes really, really messy. And any kind of separation or divorce can be that way too. And I can't really tell you, Dan, what happened. But I remember going home for lunch one day. And whatever happened just got me so overwhelmed. Because I was so busy making sure everybody well else was okay. Yes. And that work was still going well, and all of that, that I hadn't really taken care of myself in that whole process. And I can remember driving back to work and just feeling so overwhelmed. And I parked my car while it's an expedition. So big vehicle. And I took a few deep breaths. And I went in for my afternoon of work my three and a quarter hours of work that I had left did my job. I was very good at that. And at the end of my shift, I couldn't find my keys. No, they were nowhere. Like I was like, Oh, great. So I can just remember that sinking feeling well, I hope my vehicle still there. Because that would just be the the cherry on the top right. So I when I walked out not only was it there, I had left it running for that entire three and a quarter hours. I was at work and however long it took me a try to find my keys. Wow. Yeah, like I was holy cow. And so it got into my vehicle. Look, I just take a few deep breaths, turn it off. And in that moment, as I took those deep breaths, I just really realized I was as empty as my gas tank now was.

Yes. What an analogy. If the universe was speaking to you in that moment, then it gave you quite the call, right? Lesley, your car's now on empty, we're showing you that you're on empty to pick it

You left it running, what did you think was gonna happen just like you, you kept running and running and running and you didn't take a break. So you're running on empty. Wow. So you know, that was really a game changer for me when I went home, and I just made sure everybody was okay. Nobody else knew really what had happened. And in fact, I didn't really start sharing this story until the last year. And after everybody was in bed, I just sat quietly. And I just, you know, I just remember just thinking to myself, Okay, you really let this go, what are you going to do?

It is time to make more changes. Exactly. You know, so brilliant. You know, at some point, you thought, Okay, this, my marriage isn't working, I need to take care of myself. And I'm going to get out of this marriage. But it really hadn't sunk in yet. You know, and I think that for us, as human beings, a lot of times the changes are incremental pieces, like if you would have left your husband and then focused on self care and all the things I mean, you could have done that. But you might have missed some other parts in the process. Or you might have had such resistance to the change that it might have reversed on you too. So reminding the listeners that that when Spirit calls us all the time and Spirit calls you that day when you realize that you'd left your car running, it was on empty and what a brilliant way for spirit to say hey, Leslie, come on. Give your head a shake. You're running all the time and you're running on empty. How much longer do you think you can do this for? And How brilliant is it that that showed up for you? So that you could recognize Okay, it's time for something else to change.

Exactly. It is it was the next step and and you know, perhaps in that you're right in all of those changes, I wasn't ready for that next step, that was the big step. Yeah. And this was the next step. And when I really sat down and really listened, although I had been really, you know, studying more about higher self in connecting, you know, with my inner self, and spirit, I really hadn't taken all the time I needed to for that. And that was the the time when I really clearly hear it, it's time here heard, it's time now for you to connect in a way you haven't connected before. And that's what led to really, me starting to connect, find out more about angels and spirit. And like all things amazing. Things amazing and cool, and spiritual, and how you can disconnect on levels that we've never been taught before. That's right, you know, I always been taught that you to connect, you do it this way. And this is the you know, take these steps and you pray this way or whatever. And and what it really opened up for me and I had been wondering for a long while as, what about me? How, what if I don't connect in that way? And so this taught me that everyone has their own way of connecting with spirit. Love it, there is no one way or right way. It's, it's just your way, whatever feels good for you. Right?

Oh, can I highlight that for a second? Because I think that's so powerful. And such a brilliant message that how you connect with spirit, how you connect with your soul, how you connect with those inner parts of you. There, there is no one way. There's many, many ways. And we are conditioned to believe it has to be in a certain way, put in the box. And this is what it looks like. And what you're saying is that it is your way. And you get to decide what that way is. But find your way there at least. Yeah, a way that might be find it. And here's the thing, people don't have to have some big like, traumatic experience. I mean, you didn't have to get hospitalized or go through a near death like I did, or any of that stuff. But you had enough of the wisdom within you to pay attention and to listen. And here's the thing, everyone, spirit is always sending us messages. It's just that sometimes we're too busy, right? Just like busy, busy. Go, go go because again, we've been conditioned to believe that way. But that's part of the problem is that we are so busy. We're so consumed by all these extrinsic and outside energies and forces. How easy it is to miss these callings. How easy it is to miss the directional signposts. And so just a reminder for those people listening that you don't have to go through something super dark, like you don't have to go through a dark night of the soul. To hear it right to hear spirit. So yeah, thank you for sharing that.

Yes. My pleasure. And and this has been my journey that it's your way, your way changes as you grow to it doesn't stay static. Yeah. Which is just, you know, that's one thing that keeps coming up for me lately. And it's like, I'm never surprised by what comes up for me or how things come up with spirit. always amazed. always amazed. Yeah, yeah. And so just be open to whatever comes up for you. So yeah, so that was really my journey of starting this piece. As you know, I've been working as a psychiatric nurse therapist for 30 years, that's a lot of years and sort of people like to call it traditional therapy. I like to call it modern, because it really hasn't been around that long. Yeah, you know, maybe 100 years at the most that's not that long in the whole history of things. But I worked for 30 years in that. And when I always found there was just this missing piece when I was working, I could give you the tools and the steps to move forward. But what I think was missing was that feeling of inspiration and purpose and passion in why you want to move forward rather than just the steps. Yeah. And so what this has allowed for me and all of my learnings and of course mentoring Dan by you in the Akashic records is that these two blends so nicely together. Love it. The purpose, the passion, the you know your manifestation And so well with these tools and steps that I can give you the move in that way. Yeah, yes. Because

I mean, we are human after all, having, you know, just knowing that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. So I wanted to bring that to the surface because we need a function of both. We can't all be woowoo, and fairytales and magic in over here. Because we are still in this human world. And so we have to have this bridge. And the work that you're doing now Leslie really is about becoming this bridge, recognizing the gaps in the medical system around psychiatric health care, and then also recognizing that there's this whole other piece that hasn't been plugged in yet. And now you're bringing them together. So as a practitioner, who helps people with this purpose, peace and with mindfulness, what are some of the things that you want people to know that are really important? That might seem simple, or might not even seem that important, but are really important?

Right? Well, the first thing is, DeeAnne, I feel like so many people are just are, we've been conditioned to think that we need to take big steps, right? And that if we're not taking big steps, then we're not making progress. And I'm here to challenge that 100% love it that really, it's about taking small steps, and no step is too small. The small consistent steps are what gets you there. And I've seen so many people that are stuck. And the feeling I just can't even take this first step. And so I'll sit down, okay, what's your first step? Okay, how can we break that down? Further?

Oh, into smaller steps even?

Because the step is too big. And that's happy. Yes, smaller steps. It's not about how big the step is. It's about making the steps.

Absolutely. And I love that you brought this point up, because we even talked about how change can be incremental, because oftentimes, if we take make too much change too fast, then we end up not having success with that change, right. And so I love that you're bringing this to the surface. There's also this kind of scenario. And I've talked about this in some of my talks, too. So it'll make sense to you. But the question is, if I were to give you a million dollars today, or if I were to give you a penny and double that for the next 30 days, what would you choose? And you know, the answer to this, and for those of you that are listening, is the penny that's worth way more like multiple millions of dollars, by just doubling that Penny every day. And this is a perfect example to remind people that it's just 1% Every day in the right direction. It doesn't have to be the whole nine yards. It can be bit by bit. So that's a relief, I think, for some.

And I really, I truly believe that DeeAnne. I mean, if you think about life has ups and downs, it just does. That's life. And so if you're taking these big steps, you get there and then it goes boom. And then you try and take it again it goes boom. Whereas if you're taking small steps, you've got more foundation, the foundation moves with you. So those those downs aren't so far. That's just little ups and downs. But you're still traveling forward. Yeah. Rather than this big up, and then crash and then and then crush. Yeah.

Yeah. Beautiful. Important. That's great advice in itself. Okay, what you got next.

Okay, so here, and you'll have heard this in my story. Self Care, does not mean self sacrifice. Or not self care. Sorry. being of service does not mean self sacrifice. That's what I meant to say being of service does not mean self sacrifice.

So yeah, let's just tap into that. Because it's I think, you know, I know for me, especially, it was always about being kind pouring into other people take care of everybody else. And then if there's anything left, then you can give it to yourself. And I think many of us have been taught that anything other than that is selfish. And, and I'm sure that you can resonate with that. Because when we're in deep service, it means that we are helping but with our own boundaries intact, doesn't it? You want to elaborate on this a little bit?

Exactly. I mean, it really, can you take care of everyone else. And I use the example of a vehicle you're planning on going from Edmonton to Toronto in your car. When the gas goes to is dipping to a quarter tank and the empty Do you just keep driving and thinking You're going to get to Toronto? No, you stop and fill up, you stop and fill up. And so we know this about our cars, which is a mechanical thing. How do we expect ourselves to keep going right? When our gas tank is is dipping?

Yeah. Love it. We can't, we can't. And yet, how many times has that been the common way? You see how many health providers frontline workers burnt out? Because they're trying to pour into everybody, and they're not stopping to fuel up?

Yeah, I think one of the most important things that I've heard you say DeeAnneto me and to others, is that you can care without carrying.

Yes, thank you for bringing that to the surface. Yeah. Which is here, why you can care without carrying. And so I think that's part of the problem is that we carry these burdens for each other, too. It's not just about the doing, it's the carrying of the burdens as well. And so that's another powerful statement. And I'm so glad that you brought it up today, because I think that someone needs to hear that right now. Someone who's carrying the load the weight of the world on their shoulders, and feeling so depleted and exhausted by that we cannot serve if there's nothing left, right. And so

Not effectively, yeah, not in the way we want. Right. And here's the other thing I've learned, DeeAnne, is when we're taking on everyone else's burdens along the way, we don't give them the opportunity to move through those things. And it's important for them to move through on their journey.

Oh, yes. The wisdom in you, Leslie? Really? Absolutely. We are not meant to be the ones to save everybody. We're meant to be guiding lights and allow people to save themselves, aren't we? Yes. Yeah.

Yes, it is so important. And these are hard won lessons, DeeAnne.

I know it takes a long time for these to sink in and register. Like I don't know about you Lastly, but I'm still in the process of getting better at setting boundaries.

Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. That thing comes up and you're like, I gotta jump in and then you've jumped in. But here's the thing, you can jump in, you can say, Oh, okay. Alright. You jumped in that time? That's okay. Let's put that boundary back up. Yeah. And let's not jump in again. Yeah, you've got it. Yeah. yourself a little grace in that process. Right.

Absolutely. Absolutely. Brilliant. I love it. Okay, we've got time for one more tip. And then we're going to wrap up our time's going by so fast today.

I know, I could talk for hours, DeeAnne. So my third thing and you know, this is so important to me is about being present. And really, I think presence is a really undervalued. In today's society. We're all about multitasking and about being here and doing this while you're doing that. And technology, you can take your phone and work on this when you're on the bus or whatever. And really what we're missing is, is being present in our lives. And when we do that, we're not nearly as effective. Yeah, not for ourselves and not for the people that we love. And so for anybody listening today, I think sometimes mindfulness is mistaken for taking, you know, getting up early and having that time by yourself meditating. And that certainly is a form of mindfulness and important when you can fit it in. Important. However, sometimes you're feeling so overwhelmed that even adding one more thing in just feels like even more overwhelming. So I'm going to tell you, you can fit mindfulness into every aspect of your life if you choose. And I think that's really important to really be present. Because really only 2% of the population, only 2% can effectively multitask. That is, wow, wow, they've done lots of studies. And that is it. When we're multitasking, we're not present in anything and we're not doing anything effectively. So when I talk about mindfulness, I talk about when you've got a to do list of 10, that when you're on one, you stay on one, right?

You're in one one is you focus on one, yeah, you

complete one, and then you move to two, you don't do one and then you do five, and then you do eight, and then you go back to one because how effective is that?

Definitely. How do you know that that's nice? Because it's me. I've got like an email going over here. This is half done over here. And that actually creates a feeling of overwhelm. I promise At least and I would imagine for most people to and so I love this practice of presence. And like you said, it doesn't have to be like an extra chore on your to do list, that the practice of presence can be something that you immerse in the day to day, even something as simple as doing a check in with your body, scanning your body and just saying, Hello body. How are you doing in this moment? pausing to take a few nice deep breaths, it's these little things that can make a really big difference. And I think what I love so much about your talk today, is that you really showed us how simple it can be. You showed us how easy it can be. And I think that's what stops a lot of people is they think that it's hard. Or they think like you said, you have to make a big change. It can be something ever so subtle. It can be as simple as you doing 3d bras in the morning before you start your day. And what time does that take? Right? Yeah,

not long, not long. And I'm a big believer in using those transition. And I know you've heard me say this, how many of us walk? Well, it's a trick question. I walk from my kitchen, to my bathroom, to the car, from my car until an appointment, we walk all the time. And often during those times of walking our mind is going on what we've got to do next. Yes, you can use that time that you're already doing, you're walking anyways, walk mindfully. Yeah, really focus on your muscles and your balance. And you know how you feel when you're walking, we focus on that. And that just gives you some mindful moments so that you're not always running.

I'm laughing over here because my toes are thanking you because I tend to stub a lot of toes because I'm one of those people who's moving when I'm moving from here. And I got to get this and I got to get this and I got the kids and I got the thing. And then they did, right. And so my poor toes get stubbed a lot because I'm not being present. So I love this tip around mindful walking, I'm going to just as soon as we're done this, and when I go to the kitchen, I'm going to make sure that I walk mindfully. So what a powerful tip in itself is to just practice walking with more mindfulness just to start. And to play with that, like this can be fun, we can play with it. It doesn't have to be like, Oh my god, I forgot to walk with mindfulness. You know, it's like, oh, I just remembered that I didn't walk with mindfulness. So the next time I walk, I can walk with more mindfulness. So it's about just little bit by little bit and having fun in the experience, and recognizing and having that awareness to say, Oh, forgot about it, then. But I'm going to challenge myself to get it next time, I can be there next time, right. And so it becomes less burdensome. And again, I think that's so critical in this piece, because so many people are like, well, I don't have time to meditate, I can't meditate, it's like, we're not talking about that we're talking about you moving through your day, with a little bit more awareness, with a little bit more presence, with a little bit more mindfulness, just a little a little out of time, that has been powerful. So let's just do a quick recap, you know, we talked about steps can be small, it's okay for the steps to be small. And I think that's a really big one for people to be aware of. The middle one, remind me of the middle one again.

So being of service is not self sacrifice.

So good. I forget this one, because it's so powerful. being of service is not self sacrifice, being of service is being able to help with boundaries. Exactly. I love that. And then of course, the third one, that we can practice presence and mindfulness. In our day to day, we don't have to add extra to the to do list, we can actually allow that presence to just show up as we move through our day. So pretty simple tools. But I'm telling you already, I'm taking some of these golden nuggets, and I'm going to be applying them because they are so simple, and they are easy. So Lesley, any final words as we wrap up for today?

You know, DeeAnne, I think you said it a few times, not in these words. But you've mentioned a few times, it's really just having grace, allowing I know that for you. Grace flows from within, you know, as the way you've described it, and it's allowing that grace to flow to yourself, when you're not getting everything in the way you want it to like we all learning new things. We're all trying new things. We're all trying to figure this earthly life out for ourselves, and we don't always get it right. And other people don't either and it's just about having that grace. to say, okay, maybe I didn't do it that time, that's okay. I can move on from that. And I can do it the next time.

I love it. And I, you know, I could talk about grace all day. And we've just touched on it now. But one thing I'll leave the audience with is that grace exists because of your awareness of it. So in order to have grace, you simply must be aware that it exists within you is not beautiful. Because I want people to recognize that they already have grace. I've heard people say, like, I'm so not graceful, like, and we all have grace. And so gracefulness comes from our awareness that it exists within us. So I think that's a beautiful note to end on today. Lesley, I know that you're a coach, and you've got some programs that you run, how can people reach out to you explore with you, I also happen to know you do tend to offer some free sessions, who are experts in the Akashic records as well. So if people want to book with you, what's that process look like for them?

Find riseofthephoenix.org. Okay, I want to make Yes, I can hear that riseofthephoenix.org. ORG. That's where they can find you. Probably

Super easy. You can go to my website, if you like, and which is riseofthephoenix.org

that's where they can find me. And right at the top of the page, it'll say book a call. And you can press that link. And that'll take into book that 20 minute free Akashic reading session with me.

And well, that is such a beautiful gift, folks, please take advantage of that gift. It's there for you to grow and learn and experience. And Leslie is so gifted at her craft, she knows what she's talking about. So I do encourage you to go and explore her website. And if it resonates book a time with her, it's a gift that will last a lifetime. Yes.

And if you don't find it there, you can always go to Rose Hope to the Divine collective. And you can find me there as well. Right. I'm in the divine collective on Rosehope.ca book a free free call with me there.

I love that you threw that in there. So folks, as you know, Rosehope.ca is where you can find all things about when Spirit calls, you can sign up for the newsletter there too. But that is there for you unless they can be found there as well. So lots of places to find you. And thank you so much, Lesley, for taking the time out of your schedule to be with us to be present with us today. And share your wisdom. I know that I already have received tremendous value in this conversation and it's not the first time we've had the conversation every time I learned something new. So thank you for gracing us with your presence today. And we look forward to seeing you all again on When Spirit Calls bye for now.

Thank you bye.